Come What May
Somewhere between surviving and thriving
The Ugly Truth
Security 101
If a product is free, your data is the product.
Some quick tips, as I’m learning:
Never store passwords on the keychain
Don’t use iCloud if you can help it
Don’t re-use passwords
Use different languages for passwords
Store passwords securely (1Password, manual, etc.)
If manual, be conscious of how you discard of old passwords
Change them once a quarter at minimum
Use an authenticator (Google, Duo, etc.)
Change phone numbers regularly
Be wary of QR codes you scan in the wild without verifying the source/brand first
Be wary of what apps you download, make sure you trust the developer first
I’m not sure what to do with Developer Mode which weakens your device’s security but is required if you build and test iOS apps.
Once you’re a target, keep running. Automation accelerates bad actors’ ability to test a bunch of fake passwords decreasing time to inevitable hack. The more data they have about you, the more likely they are to unlock your next account.
I now exist somewhere between 2~3 devices, phone numbers, and a plethora of email addresses. It’s a huge mess and slows basic things down, but unless you have the resources to build your own satellite network, own surrounding property, store your own data, and mandate in-person conversations for important meetings - invest in some good running shoes.
*Takes long and slow breath*
At Risk & Looking for Courage
What didn't you do to bury me
But you forgot that I was a seed
- Dinos ChristianopoulosAside from concerns of my physical safety, the thing that scares me most is that I am now a walking liability. To myself, to my tiny startup, to others. And I don’t know how to not be this way despite best efforts. It’s paralyzing.
Even if Jury sees successful adoption, growth and retention… will I be able to lead our product, brand, and service safely if I am always under threat of a breach by haters?
In a world where media gets leaked before it even has a chance to be announced… how do you navigate a market on a leaky surfboard?
How do you hold onto a social life? Engaging with others puts them at risk too.
How do you survive and stay healthy if you are isolated and alone?
How do you create if you cannot communicate freely?
If I dare venture into the gray zone, will that be used against me later?
If I stay quiet, will that enable this to happen to someone else?
If I speak up, will it turn people off from working with me?
Speaking up is scary. The people behind my attacks are multi-millionaires with successful networks and have many followers. They have already retaliated when I raised initial alarms and took steps to protect myself. And that includes leveraging a billionaire investor with the ability to deplatform, dox, or discredit anyone I speak with even though we both know I am the better investment. Also, right/wrong?
I don’t have family here. All I have in America is my own two feet, my curiosity, and my soul. Frankly, I’ve used all my money to invest in building Jury these last couple years.
Those are my weapons of choice. I’m not a fighter of attack. I’m a warrior of flow. Outside of needing to protect myself, I prefer to use my weapons to build safer spaces for me and others. Or at least, try.
Without My Consent
After moving through the cycles of grief; Confusion, Denial, Fear, Anger, Isolation —> I’m now somewhere between Acceptance and Depression.
It’s interesting that psychology frameworks around healing are often based on managing rituals and letting emotions move through the body over time if the trauma results from Loss or Bereavement. But healing frameworks around addiction are more significantly rooted in Spirituality and Apology. Both require surrender and acceptance.
I must confess - I was never good about my own digital security. I re-used passwords and didn’t make them too complex. Like most of us, I opted for simplicity and convenience instead of over-indexing on what felt like fantasy threats. I never thought I’d be a target, and I’m still not sure why. I was mostly just focused on living the best life with my short time on this planet.
I don’t think that justifies instigating nor protecting bad behavior.
An ex-friend-turned-fling once told me; when you walk into a room, look up. Good advice. Height is not pre-requisite to standing tall.
If anyone should find themselves in a similar situation, I was graciously referred to Without My Consent which has resources available to help you take control of your truth.
Intent & Activation.
Beyond the plot, what really happened here? To me, there are three ways to categorize intent.
Accidental/Irresponsible
Malicious/Intentional
Protective/Intentional
And then there are the questions.
When did the first hack start? How?
When did distribution enter the picture?
What was said in the group chat? Who’s in it?
How did people get invited into it? What platform?
Why did nobody say anything? Even when I asked?
Who else is a victim? Why me?
And most importantly… how do I make this stop? How can I move on, safely?
Isn’t it ironic that I was trying to build something fun and healthy to do with friends?
What now?
Throughout this all, we kept building.
And truthfully, there is a lot more to build. All that work just got us to basecamp.
Now we have to climb.
But even in the virtue of ignorance, there is peril in acceptance.
I’m grateful to have a moment to catch my breath. We hit our most important work goals this year (4/6 on our “OKRs” which I’ll take for passing).
With a little downtime, I find myself reprocessing everything that happened.
Healing isn’t linear.
I have done everything I could and tried to maintain a balanced (yes, even if angry) perspective throughout. I’ve tried my best. I really, really tried.
It may not have been enough. But with the power dynamics so tilted, with so much at stake as I try to push Jury towards the next stage, and my resources increasingly provoking a (false) binary of protecting my peace (surrender?) or the startup’s future (fight?) - I have to share the whole story.
It is woven into mine and Jury’s context;
1) Individually; it really happened. TW: I wanted to die. So many times it felt like there was no out. Yet somehow, I think I made it through the worst of it. I hope.
2) Industry-wise; there are lessons here we all need to learn. As software builders and consumers. As owners of our own data. As explorers in the Wild West of a new age in AI. This cannot happen again. Much more to say here, soon.
3) For Jury; I just want to keep building, safely. I need it to be fun again.
Writing the wrongs
There’s a trillion things to write about in between improving our app and IRL events.
What “human-in-the-loop” really means to us as a strategy and as a lesson
AI empowerment and what I’ve learned first-hand
Design’s impact in an AI-first world
Reflections on Doordash’s 2026 Spending Report & Implications for a Young Future
The Problem with Now (social media, gender & dating, race & wealth)
On Fighting Together, not Against
Social (For Good) pt.1; Reparations, Violence Accountability & the Gini Co-efficient
And obviously… Social (For Good) pt. 2; the Jury manifesto
I don’t know what 2026 has in store for us.
Catch my breath.
Come what may.
